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Woman raised by lesbian moms comes out against gay marriage
03-20-2015, 02:38 PM
Post: #1
Woman raised by lesbian moms comes out against gay marriage
Dear Gay Community: Your Kids Are Hurting
dailymail.co.uk - 19 March 2015

[Image: stories_jenkendra.jpg]

Quote:This letter's author Heather Barwick was raised by her mother and her mother's same-sex partner.
She is a former gay-marriage advocate turned children's rights activist. She is a wife and mother of
four rambunctious kids.

I loved my mom’s partner, but another mom could never have replaced the father I lost.

Gay community, I am your daughter. My mom raised me with her same-sex partner back in the ’80s and ’90s. She and my dad were married for a little while. She knew she was gay before they got married, but things were different back then. That’s how I got here. It was complicated as you can imagine. She left him when I was two or three because she wanted a chance to be happy with someone she really loved: a woman.

My dad wasn’t a great guy, and after she left him he didn’t bother coming around anymore.

Do you remember that book, “Heather Has Two Mommies”? That was my life. My mom, her partner, and I lived in a cozy little house in the ‘burbs of a very liberal and open-minded area. Her partner treated me as if I was her own daughter. Along with my mom’s partner, I also inherited her tight-knit community of gay and lesbian friends. Or maybe they inherited me?

Either way, I still feel like gay people are my people. I’ve learned so much from you. You taught me how to be brave, especially when it is hard. You taught me empathy. You taught me how to listen. And how to dance. You taught me not be afraid of things that are different. And you taught me how to stand up for myself, even if that means I stand alone.

I’m writing to you because I’m letting myself out of the closet: I don’t support gay marriage. But it might not be for the reasons that you think.

Children Need a Mother and Father.

It’s not because you’re gay. I love you, so much. It’s because of the nature of the same-sex relationship itself.

It’s only now, as I watch my children loving and being loved by their father each day, that I can see the beauty and wisdom in traditional marriage and parenting.

Growing up, and even into my 20s, I supported and advocated for gay marriage. It’s only with some time and distance from my childhood that I’m able to reflect on my experiences and recognize the long-term consequences that same-sex parenting had on me. And it’s only now, as I watch my children loving and being loved by their father each day, that I can see the beauty and wisdom in traditional marriage and parenting.

[Same-sex marriage and parenting withholds either a mother or father from a child while telling him or her that it doesn’t matter. That it’s all the same. But it’s not. A lot of us, a lot of your kids, are hurting. My father’s absence created a huge hole in me, and I ached every day for a dad. I loved my mom’s partner, but another mom could never have replaced the father I lost.

I grew up surrounded by women who said they didn’t need or want a man. Yet, as a little girl, I so desperately wanted a daddy. It is a strange and confusing thing to walk around with this deep-down unquenchable ache for a father, for a man, in a community that says that men are unnecessary. There were times I felt so angry with my dad for not being there for me, and then times I felt angry with myself for even wanting a father to begin with. There are parts of me that still grieve over that loss today.

I’m not saying that you can’t be good parents. You can. I had one of the best. I’m also not saying that being raised by straight parents means everything will turn out okay. We know there are so many different ways that the family unit can break down and cause kids to suffer: divorce, abandonment, infidelity, abuse, death, etc. But by and large, the best and most successful family structure is one in which kids are being raised by both their mother and father.

Why Can’t Gay People’s Kids Be Honest?

Gay marriage doesn’t just redefine marriage, but also parenting. It promotes and normalizes a family structure that necessarily denies us something precious and foundational. It denies us something we need and long for, while at the same time tells us that we don’t need what we naturally crave. That we will be okay. But we’re not. We’re hurting.

If anyone can talk about hard things, it’s us.

Kids of divorced parents are allowed to say, “Hey, mom and dad, I love you, but the divorce crushed me and has been so hard. It shattered my trust and made me feel like it was my fault. It is so hard living in two different houses.” Kids of adoption are allowed to say, “Hey, adoptive parents, I love you. But this is really hard for me. I suffer because my relationship with my first parents was broken. I’m confused and I miss them even though I’ve never met them.”[/size]

But children of same-sex parents haven’t been given the same voice. It’s not just me. There are so many of us. Many of us are too scared to speak up and tell you about our hurt and pain, because for whatever reason it feels like you’re not listening. That you don’t want to hear. If we say we are hurting because we were raised by same-sex parents, we are either ignored or labeled a hater.

This isn’t about hate at all. I know you understand the pain of a label that doesn’t fit and the pain of a label that is used to malign or silence you. And I know that you reallyhave been hated and that you really have been hurt. I was there, at the marches, when they held up signs that said, “God hates f*gs” and “AIDS cures homosexuality.” I cried and turned hot with anger right there in the street with you. But that’s not me. That’s not us.

I know this is a hard conversation. But we need to talk about it. If anyone can talk about hard things, it’s us. You taught me that.

Heather Barwick was raised by her mother and her mother's same-sex partner. She is a former gay-marriage advocate turned children's rights activist. She is a wife and mother of four rambunctious kids.


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-...riage.html
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03-20-2015, 02:42 PM
Post: #2
RE: Woman raised by lesbian moms comes out against gay marriage
Yin + Yang.

Yang = Father, Yin = Mother.

Yin and Yang = complementary

The balance of the mother's nurturing instinct and the father's authoritarian instinct makes people healthy and balanced.
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03-20-2015, 02:55 PM
Post: #3
RE: Woman raised by lesbian moms comes out against gay marriage
Dolce and Gabana spoke out against gay marriage. citing the only family is a traditional family. Boy did they get grilled by the backlash.
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03-20-2015, 03:23 PM
Post: #4
RE: Woman raised by lesbian moms comes out against gay marriage
Quote:On Monday, six children (now adults) raised by same-sex parents in the United States wrote a letter supporting the designers, thanking them for speaking up for the rights of children to both a mother and a father.

“Every human being has a mother and a father, and to cut either from a child’s life is to rob the child of dignity, humanity, and equality,” the letter reads.

The signers said Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana, who are openly gay, expressed what they’ve learned through their own life experience, which is that while gay parents can be very loving, children are best supported when raised by a mother and a father.

the tide is turning folks.
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03-20-2015, 05:18 PM
Post: #5
RE: Woman raised by lesbian moms comes out against gay marriage
Johnny Taliban was raised by a homosexual dad. The letter was too late for little Johnny.


Men without chests

"Every once in a while, a bit of truth sneaks through the Big Medias politically correct filters. When it does, it usually offers a telling blow against the latest Groupthink.A case in point was the San Francisco Examiners bombshell revelation that Frank Lindh, father of American Taliban member John Walker Lindh, left his family to move in with a gay lover when John was 16.

Its not much of a stretch to imagine this may have played a major role in young Walkers estrangement from his own culture"

http://www.catholiceducation.org/en/cult...hests.html

dead soul
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03-20-2015, 10:57 PM (This post was last modified: 03-20-2015 10:59 PM by Masato Toys.)
Post: #6
RE: Woman raised by lesbian moms comes out against gay marriage
You really think the tide is turning, EY?

I don't see it at all. I think its great that gay rights are becoming stronger, I believe in most cases its not a choice and have much empathy for anyone to have be gay in a homophobe society.

But I see it going too far the other way, that any discussion such as the OP that supports the traditional family or criticizes aspects of gay culture is increasingly resulting in harsher and harsher responses. The way it going, this kind of talk will soon be associated with hate crime and won't be allowed.

Very interesting article. The daughter-father relationship imo is real; I have a daughter and I can tell you she really looks up to me as something that gives her confidence, she clings to me more than her mother (which is no criticism to her mom who is great, I'm just saying she seems very happy to have a daddy that she trusts as a masculine role model) I have to be careful to continually remind her of my flaws and mistakes, because it seems natural for daughters at a young age to think of their dads as superheroes, even if they are scumbags lol

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03-21-2015, 03:14 AM
Post: #7
RE: Woman raised by lesbian moms comes out against gay marriage
(03-20-2015 10:57 PM)Masato Toys Wrote:  You really think the tide is turning, EY?

I don't see it at all. I think its great that gay rights are becoming stronger, I believe in most cases its not a choice and have much empathy for anyone to have be gay in a homophobe society.

But I see it going too far the other way, that any discussion such as the OP that supports the traditional family or criticizes aspects of gay culture is increasingly resulting in harsher and harsher responses. The way it going, this kind of talk will soon be associated with hate crime and won't be allowed.

Very interesting article. The daughter-father relationship imo is real; I have a daughter and I can tell you she really looks up to me as something that gives her confidence, she clings to me more than her mother (which is no criticism to her mom who is great, I'm just saying she seems very happy to have a daddy that she trusts as a masculine role model) I have to be careful to continually remind her of my flaws and mistakes, because it seems natural for daughters at a young age to think of their dads as superheroes, even if they are scumbags lol

State repression is usually a sign of desperation, and certainly in the West (where a minority rules over the majority). If the state can achieve its goals through "soft power" manipulation, it will avoid repression.

Repression is a last resort when other mechanisms fail. Historically, countries with the most coercive measures against dissident views have been the countries with the least control over citizens.

That it's more and more costly for people in the West to speak out against these measures shows that the state is losing its grip and is trying to re-assert its authority. The greater the backlash against these measures, the greater the repression from the state.
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03-21-2015, 03:20 AM
Post: #8
RE: Woman raised by lesbian moms comes out against gay marriage
^ hmm interesting

Kind of a reverse-positive

I see this too sometimes, like the uglier the Anglo-Empire behaves, it actually means the more desperate they are becoming.

Atrocious behavior might actually be seen as a sign of hope?

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03-21-2015, 03:31 AM
Post: #9
RE: Woman raised by lesbian moms comes out against gay marriage
Brics is correct. The controllers do not prefer this type of overt control but they have lost control over the minds of men.
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03-21-2015, 03:35 AM (This post was last modified: 03-21-2015 03:35 AM by Masato Toys.)
Post: #10
RE: Woman raised by lesbian moms comes out against gay marriage
^ yet so many are getting washed up in it!

Mainstream media/entertainment is only increasing content of this nature.

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03-21-2015, 07:39 AM
Post: #11
RE: Woman raised by lesbian moms comes out against gay marriage
(03-21-2015 03:31 AM)EVILYOSHIDA Wrote:  Brics is correct. The controllers do not prefer this type of overt control but they have lost control over the minds of men.

Precisely.

Soft power, while still the dominant mechanism of social control, is being increasingly "propped up" by direct coercion.

What the West has always promoted as the hallmark of their so-called unique "civilization" is the idea that Western countries, unlike non-Western ones, provide its citizens an environment of almost limitless freedom and democratic options, where, in general, one can think and do as one pleases, provided that one's behaviour doesn't infringe upon the rights of fellow citizens or designated populations.

It's generally acknowledged that soft power exists, but it is seen as a positive -- and as reflecting people's agreement with the system itself.

Increasingly, that fiction has been replaced with the recognition by many in the West that soft power is, in fact, an insidious form of social control; that it's as restricting towards people's movement as coercive power; and that it's as conducive to "un-democratic" practices as the most coercive mechanisms associated with the most autocratic regimes. Moreover, it provides cover to initiatives meant to destroy age-old customs and, ultimately, civilizations.

Once people start re-thinking their reality and recognizing their environment's many flaws, as is increasingly happening in the West (albeit quite often in a misguided way), there becomes the need for the state to re-assert its authority -- and under whatever pretext.

This is what all the phoney distractions abroad, such as the "war on terror", are about; it's also why the Western elite are continuing to encourage useful groups to promote their divisive ideas -- as with the many protest group initiatives against majority group "privilege".

Technology is another way the elite have upped their coercion. For example, cell phone cameras limit people's privacy and ensure that there are fewer places to carry out private communication.

Then, of course, there's the government spying on citizens, again under the pretext of monitoring "terror" groups -- the same ones that "so happen" to come into the possession of Western arms.

Finally, there's the targeting of designated rogue states, whose real crime is to challenge the hegemonic world order (or Western "exceptionalism") -- hence, the bellicosity of the E.U./U.S. towards Russia and China in particular, as well as towards other Brics countries and other nation-states (e.g., Venezuela, Iran, Hungary, Greece) not willing to play ball.
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03-21-2015, 08:30 AM
Post: #12
RE: Woman raised by lesbian moms comes out against gay marriage
very excellent post by BRICS
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