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Report: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers White 23-Year-Old American Males
04-03-2014, 12:01 PM
Post: #1
Report: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers White 23-Year-Old American Males
WASHINGTON—Following a comprehensive two-year linguistic survey, a report published Wednesday in the academic journal Language revealed that 58 percent of Japanese speakers worldwide are 23-year-old white men from the United States. “Our findings indicate that a majority of individuals who can fluently speak and comprehend Japanese are actually Caucasian post-collegiate American males, many of whom order in Japanese at sushi restaurants and were one of the few white members of their universities’ Japanese clubs,” read the report in part, which noted that American-born 23-year-old men who taught English for a year in Kobe or Sapporo after graduation currently outnumber all other speakers of the Japanese language, including the entire population of the East Asian island nation and its millions of emigrants living throughout the world. “Though the Japanese dialect was spoken almost exclusively by individuals of Japanese origin until the mid-18th century, it is now largely a vernacular utilized by young white men who decorate their apartments with traditional Japanese prints and are devoted fans of manga artist Hayao Miyazaki. In fact, if present trends continue, we predict that within several decades the Japanese language will be spoken almost exclusively by fair-skinned twentysomething U.S. citizens who regularly purchase packaged seaweed snacks from small Asian markets and watch Akira Kurosawa films several times per month.” The report further confirmed that virtually 100 percent of this demographic is either currently dating or recently broke up with a woman named Miku.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-...ear,35690/
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04-03-2014, 12:12 PM
Post: #2
RE: Report: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers White 23-Year-Old American Males
lol.

A rare amusing onion article.
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04-03-2014, 12:18 PM
Post: #3
RE: Report: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers White 23-Year-Old American Males
Sounds legit.

I guess it didn't matter whether we elected Clinton or Trump.
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04-03-2014, 12:26 PM (This post was last modified: 04-03-2014 12:28 PM by superCalo.)
Post: #4
RE: Report: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers White 23-Year-Old American Males
how did they find this out ?

I am working out the stats in my head, but whats the population of Japan say 5 maybe 10 million ?

number of 23 year old white guys is probably 1 - 2 billion absolute max ?, so would have to be lot of them to go to Japan to each English, maybe what 40% ? very much doubt 40% of them do that.
And they end up with 58% sorry but school I went to taught that 58% is like 28% more than 40%, BIG Difference, idiots.
These people have no concept of statistics & bell curves & shit
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04-03-2014, 02:00 PM
Post: #5
RE: Report: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers White 23-Year-Old American Males
lol no.
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04-03-2014, 03:09 PM
Post: #6
RE: Report: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers White 23-Year-Old American Males
see???!!!


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04-03-2014, 09:21 PM
Post: #7
RE: Report: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers White 23-Year-Old American Males
Ken tanaka is an act. it's a faked accent lol.
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06-19-2021, 01:13 AM
Post: #8
RE: Report: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers White 23-Year-Old American Males


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06-19-2021, 03:42 AM
Post: #9
RE: Report: 58% Of World’s Japanese Speakers White 23-Year-Old American Males
When I first saw the title, I thought "This is an example of a patently false article."
Only later did I realize it was from the Onion.
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