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My Favorite Quotes - Witty
01-14-2020, 12:00 AM
Post: #16
RE: My Favorite Quotes - Witty
Life is like a box of chocolates...for fat people it doesn't last long.
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01-14-2020, 05:30 AM
Post: #17
RE: My Favorite Quotes - Witty
moreBig Grin
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01-22-2020, 08:20 AM
Post: #18
RE: My Favorite Quotes - Witty
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Unknown


I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Unknown


The only true environmentalists commit suicide.
Unknown


Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin


The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) – It's the government's way of trying to protect you from protecting yourself.
Unknown


The 50-50-90 rule: Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
Unknown
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01-22-2020, 08:27 AM (This post was last modified: 02-03-2020 02:43 PM by Dick Tater.)
Post: #19
RE: My Favorite Quotes - Witty
Doctors bury their mistakes.
Unknown


Why do Doctors call what they do practice?
Unknown


Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.
Anton Chekhov


When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
Norm Crosby
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01-22-2020, 08:28 AM
Post: #20
RE: My Favorite Quotes - Witty
It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.
Marilyn Monroe


A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle


Teamwork is essential – it allows you to blame someone else.
Unknown


There are three things I always forget. Names, faces and the third I can’t remember.
Italo Svevo
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01-22-2020, 08:29 AM
Post: #21
RE: My Favorite Quotes - Witty
“America ... has created a 'civilization' that represents an exact contradiction of the ancient European tradition. It has introduced the religion of praxis and productivity; it has put the quest for profit, great industrial production, and mechanical, visible, and quantitative achievements over any other interest. It has generated a soulless greatness of a purely technological and collective nature, lacking any background of transcendence, inner light, and true spirituality. America has [built a society where] man becomes a mere instrument of production and material productivity within a conformist social conglomerate”
― Julius Evola
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01-22-2020, 08:31 AM
Post: #22
RE: My Favorite Quotes - Witty
“Nothing is more evident than that modern capitalism is just as subversive as Marxism. The materialistic view of life on which both systems are based is identical; both of their ideals are qualitatively identical, including the premises connected to a world the centre of which is constituted of technology, science, production, "productivity," and "consumption." And as long as we only talk about economic classes, profit, salaries, and production, and as long as we believe that real human progress is determined by a particular system of distribution of wealth and goods, and that, generally speaking, human progress is measured by the degree of wealth or indigence—then we are not even close to what is essential...”
― Julius Evola, Men Among the Ruins: Post-War Reflections of a Radical Traditionalist
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02-03-2020, 02:50 PM (This post was last modified: 02-03-2020 02:58 PM by Dick Tater.)
Post: #23
RE: My Favorite Quotes - Witty
What word becomes shorter when you add two letters?
Short.


The “South” is anything south of the Canadian border.
Malcolm X


We are not retreating, we are advancing in another direction.
General Douglas MacArthur


The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
General George Patton


The line between bravery and stupidity is so thin that you don’t know you’ve crossed it until you’re dead.
Unknown


I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be lying in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why.
Unknown
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02-03-2020, 02:57 PM
Post: #24
RE: My Favorite Quotes - Witty
Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank -- give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
Unknown


In any successful enterprise there must be an uneven number of directors and three is too many.
Giovanni Agnelli, founder of Fiat


I’d much rather be on the ground wishing I was in the air than in the air wishing I was on the ground.
Boone Bracket


My notion of a wife at forty is that a man should be able to change her, like a bank note, for two twenties.
Douglas Jerrold


A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
Douglas Adams


Some of today’s archaeologists use such poor dating techniques, I bet if I dug up a tampon on the beach they couldn't tell you what period it came from.
Unknown


Too many people confine their exercise to jumping to conclusions, running up bills, stretching the truth, side-stepping responsibility, and pushing their luck.
Anonymous
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