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Full Version: Disgusting Ossies treat their children like pigs
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An Australia fan has been charged with animal cruelty offences after disguising a pig as a baby and smuggling it into the Gabba for the first day of the Ashes series.
The Aussie supporter is believed to have planned to release the pig at the Brisbane ground before being caught by security guards who spotted it in a pram.
It seems the curious plan was an attempt to pay tribute to an incident in the 1982-83 Ashes which saw a group of fans let a pig loose at the Gabba.
Three decades ago the pig in question had 'Botham' and 'Eddie' written on each flank - for England stars Botham and Hemmings.
However, there is no indication whether Stuart Broad, the bete noire of Australia fans, was similarly targeted in this latest incident.
The pig was treated for dehydration by the RSPCA.


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An undate on the fate of said pig

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he pig that was smuggled into the Gabba cricket ground with its snout taped shut is making new pot-bellied friends at an animal care centre.
But the pig, named Ash, remains oblivious to the international attention he has attracted.
RSPCA officers held grave concerns for the dwarf male pig on Friday morning, because he refused to eat.

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I have heard that cricket is not to much a sport, as a state of mind.

What the fuck does that mean?

Do you take LSD before you watch The Ashes?

Plum bowl there, that is, or is it the sharp instruments you forgot to hide?

Let's make Kraft Dinner.

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I understand that the right bat at the right age means everything. Why is that?
Of course Ossie cricket fans have a long tradition of showing a bit of pork during test matches

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(11-25-2013 06:08 AM)Winnson Wrote: [ -> ][Image: cricket-bat-size-guide.jpg]

I understand that the right bat at the right age means everything. Why is that?

Its the weight, & height thing, like a golf club, but young kids don't want it to heavy as hard for them to swing around, but the heavier the bat the harder you can hit it.

My boy is on his 4th bat, 4th year of playing, brat grows to damn fast

If bat is too short you are going to miss, too long won't have the balance.

tis a art.

English willow vs kashmier willow, 1st, 2nd & third grade willow

shave a bit of wood off the shoulders or off the back, thickened edges or thin, heavy or light, personal choice as long as it meets standards for width and height.
I wrapped my own hockey stick since I was like 5.

I can dig cricket.

Batsmanship. Male nudity. British public school heritage. Fagging rituals. It all ties neatly together.
Cricket is the national sport of Australia, young ossie kids (unless they are abbos in which case they are thrown in jail for loitering and accidently stomp themselves to death in the prison cell) aspire to play for the national team.

One of the finest tradtions of this elite group of professional sportsman & representatives of their country is on tours to England to see who can consume the most cans of beer on the flight from Australia to England

This is one of the great sporting stories, if you time have a glance at it, shows you want teammates are all about, competitive drive

The pair were looking forward to getting home, and while the flight wasn’t particularly comfortable – players traveled economy in those days – at least the beer was free. Big drinkers both, they’d worked up a murderous thirst under the Caribbean sun. Walters remembers Marsh turning to him and asking “How many cans do you think we’ll have before we get to Sydney.

Thats where it all started”, Walters recalls. “I said ‘twenty-five’. He said “It’s a 30 hour flight – we’ll have 35”. The pair set about testing this new method of measuring distance but encountered a serious problem. “They ran out of beer”, Walters says. “We had to count spirits and all sorts of things and I don’t know what the final tally was.

Still, a seed had been planted. Word passed around before the team left for the 1977 Ashes tour that the Walters-Marsh drinking experiment had escalated into a full-blown competition. P

Rules were drawn up, wagers were laid and the drinking began. Only alcohol consumed in-flight was counted, so anything sunk in the transit lounge was, effectively, a dead ball. Competitors scored one point for a beer, wine or mixed drink, although wine drinkers were looked upon with great suspicion by the egalitarian Australians. In fact, nobody remembers a wine drinker in the competition.

L “Kim Hughes was a runaway leader early. He’d had six spirits when most of us were on three cans of beer, but shall we say he didn’t stay the course.” Walters, playing tortoise to the young hare, also recalls the baby-faced West Australian batsman stealing a break. “I remember Kim being involved and he said ‘does it have to be beer?’ and I said ‘you can drink whatever you like’, and he drank rum and something – not rum and Coke, but rum and ginger or something like that. But he’d had quite a heap to Singapore and I don’t think he had another drink for three weeks on that tour.”

Hughes, just 19 at the time, admits with good humour that he might have misjudged his run. “I was a young bull in those days. It was my first major tour away for the team and I didn’t see Singapore because I got out of the gates early and got my total to 11 or 12 brandy and dries, and collapsed in a heap. You got a point for a full beer or the spirits in the little bottles. I was never a beer drinker so I started with a little suggestion of brandy and a fair bit of dry, and pretty quickly it was all brandy and no dry, and that was why I didn’t see Singapore. But I was leading the pack by a substantial amount for a very short period of time.”

Hughes regained consciousness while approaching England to find he was not the only casualty. “I suppose I shouldn’t mention his name because it wasn’t very flattering and he was an older bloke,” the future captain recalls. “He was about 60 and had his blazer on, but he was on the aisle seat and he was asleep and he had his false teeth hanging out with saliva dripping out from the teeth onto the emblem on his pocket. Mate, it wasn’t a great sight.” It was a member of the management – the one they wouldn’t let bet on himself.

T it is a measure of just how far in-flight service has slipped that no player can recall a problem with getting a drink. “You wouldn’t get that service on a plane now,” Walters laughs. “Then, every time they walked past Marshy and I they dropped four cans on our thing (service tray). They were probably the instigators more so than us.”

O’Keeffe waved the white flat at Bahrain, realizing he could not keep up with Marsh or Walters. “Doug dropped back in the pack, knowing he could go the journey,” O’Keeffe says. “He just ground them down”, Walters confirms this tactic, “I’m a sipper”, he says. “I can sip all day and it doesn’t have a great effect, but I can’t put em down at a hundred miles an hour. I’m not a fast drinker.” He does, however, admit to being a “reasonably” bit drinker.

As the plane arrived in London, Walters raised his 44th can to his lips and drained it as thought it were his fourth. From all accounts, he wasn’t in bad shape – not if you consider he’d had 44 beers at high altitude and a couple of unofficial palate cleansers during the stopovers. “He was all right – just” says O’Keeffe. “He was lighting cigarettes filter-first. I guess that’s all right. You can do that sober.”


Of course, no in-flight drinking record is complete without a successful re-entry. All witnesses report that Walters and company were drunk, but did not disgrace themselves. “We visited the bar when we arrived, I think,” ways Walters. “

CRICKET IS A SLOW GAME THAT REWARDS PATIENCE, and so it was that Rodney Marsh returned to Australian nurturing a grudge, but knowing that his time would come. He was six years waiting. The ‘keeper has kept his silence on the 1983 flight to London, but his good mate Lillee has recorded it – twice – in his auto-biographies. In 1984’s Over and Out, Lillee says that ‘second best was not good enough for Rodney’, who announced to his team-mates well before they left for the World Cup that he was going to beat 44.

The Australian cricket team had taken on a more professional air by 1983 and a lot of planning went into the record attempt. Somebody worked out that it was a 24-hour flight with three legs – Sydney-Singapore, Singapore-Bahrain, Bahrain-London. Marsh would have to consume 15 cans a leg.

Fast bowler Geoff Lawson was part of the team despite the fact he did not drink. “I have a fairly clear recollection about it,” he says. “The announcement was made before we got to the airport. I was the official scorer. I wrote down the brand and the size on the back of a sick bag.” Lawson confirms Marsh had three at Sydney airport. “He said that you warm up before you play, so you’ve got to warm up before one of these things, and he had a couple more in Singapore and they weren’t counted either.” Lawson has another remarkable revelation: “Marshy slept from Singapore to Bahrain – he slept the whole leg.”

By this stage, the whole plane was aware of what was happening courtesy of an announcement by the captain –

Marsh’s 43rd beer coincided with the plane banking on its approach to London. “I swear to this day I could see beer about to spill over his bottom teeth onto the floor,” Lillee records. The ‘keeper drained his 43rd and sipped painfully at his 44th, equaling the Walters record. Then he gurgled a surprising announcement: “I can’t make it.” This was a time for mates to stand together. Lillee remembers them giving Marsh a word of encouragement – “Bullshit!”

The challenge had by now assumed the significance of winning an Ashes series,” Lillee writes. “There would be no capitulation. We tilted Rodney’s head back and literally force-fed him.” And so the bar was raised, but not without some difficulties. Lillee says Marsh was “History. Drunk as a monkey. Full as a fowl.” The fast bowler and Wood had to put him in team uniform and load him on to a luggage trolley to get him to customs. .

AND SO THE INFAMOUS TWILIGHT ZONE FLIGHT of 1989 and a record many say will never be beaten.

Whatever the reason, it is claimed in certain circles that David Boon, the nuggetty Tasmanian opener with a similar physique to Rod Marsh, set out with the intention of breaking 45 cans. Boon refuses to confirm this, “Never spoke about it, never will.” He tells The Weekend Australian Magazine. Maybe it was a mass hallucination, but some people on that flight recall a man who looked like Boon drinking a lot of beer.

Lawson says he was scoring, and in this case nobody begs to differ. He also remembers a different tone to the Boon assault. “Nobody accompanied Boonie,” he sayd. “We were all a bit more sensible. There weren’t too many big drinkers in the team then. I think the culture of the ‘70s changed through the ‘80s.”

“Boonie had plenty of advice for me as we had just left Singapore and we had just finished our 22nd can of beer.” Jones writes for the Australian Paper Web site. He went upstairs and fell asleep, waking later to “tumultuous” applause. Simpson thought somebody had won a card game until the plane’s captain announced Boon had consumed 52 beers. “Simpson went purple with anger and I mentioned to (selector Laurie) Sawle that maybe Boonie should be sent home and I would bat in his spot,” Jones recalls.

Lawson and Jones say Boon walked from the plane unaided. Mercifully, Boon was not asked a question at the press conference.

Over the years the odd non-cricketer has attempted to break the record. There have been unconfirmed reports that former Olympic swimmer Neil Brooks beat it. Nothing has been verified. On the recent Kangaroos tour several rugby league players attempted it but fell pathetically short; Sydney Rooster Mick Croker top-scored with 36 cans. The victorious English World Cup rugby squad is also rumoured to have had a crack, with hulking centre Mike Tindall coming close to 50 cans. “You can rest assured David Boon’s record is still standing,”Tindall’s centre partner, Will Greenwood, said later. “Tinds had a real go at it but we wanted to leave the Aussies with at least one title to hand on to.”
(11-25-2013 06:32 AM)Megatherium Wrote: [ -> ]Batsmanship. Male nudity. British public school heritage. Fagging rituals. It all ties neatly together.

the nudity is more like, its a very hot day, you've been in the stand drinking beer for 6 hours, not much is happening, you are egged on by your mates, its a dare, why not, who amongst us wouldn't want to strip their clothes off and go running onto the field naked showing the world what they've got ?
I'd streak. I would also out-drink the cricketers.
(11-25-2013 06:42 AM)superCalo Wrote: [ -> ]
(11-25-2013 06:32 AM)Megatherium Wrote: [ -> ]Batsmanship. Male nudity. British public school heritage. Fagging rituals. It all ties neatly together.

the nudity is more like, its a very hot day, you've been in the stand drinking beer for 6 hours, not much is happening, you are egged on by your mates, its a dare, why not, who amongst us wouldn't want to strip their clothes off and go running onto the field naked showing the world what they've got ?

You mean, like run hog wild Mr Calo?
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