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Full Version: Going through a divorce. AMA
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So, to explain my absence over the last few months (year? How long has it been?), my wife of 12 years, mother of my ten-year-old daughter and five-year-old son told me she wanted to move out back in August. There were a lot of fights between us leading up to this, but utilizing our Verizon bill and SpyDialer.com I am now fairly certain she was either cheating on me or wanting to cheat on me with an old flame from college. In either case, she definitely started fucking him by September, no doubt in my mind there.

Today's Eat Pray Love world I'm sure will blame me for her sucking another man's dick, but I don't buy that defense. I take commitment and marriage very seriously. I never cheated on her. I never hit her. I followed through on every promise I ever made. I took care of our house. I took care of our kids. I took care of her family when they were in need. Some of you may remember back in 2016 when I took care of her in the aftermath of a horrible car accident (her fault BTW) that left her with a shattered pelvis and weeks of bed-rest and a wheelchair. I sacrificed and did everything a man can to maintain a marriage. In the end, she turned 40, didn't quite like what she saw in the mirror and found somebody who could make her feel young again.

She moved out for a bit in August, then moved back in September while we wasted money on a marriage counselor before she got herself a two-year lease on a house literally three doors down the road from me in October. Since then, we've been splitting time with the kids 50/50 while I got our house ready to sell. It went on the market yesterday. Hopefully, it sells quick and we can split the equity and finally file for divorce. Didn't want to file first because that puts a freeze on assets for 6 months until the divorce finalizes.

So, if anyone has any questions about this particular hell, fire away. But keep it civil. Been going to boxing as often as I possibly can just to fucking hit the bag. Don't offer yourself up to be the bag online, please.
Hey brother,

I am so sorry to hear that this is happening to you. I have been married for a very long time as well. I can imagine how you are feeling. I believe you are doing the right thing, if she was cheating for such a long period of time - how could you possibly trust her. ??
I know divorce is expensive and rough on the kids, but in the end your better off without her.
All I can say is that this period will pass and you will be better for it.

i do have one question before you thought she maybe cheating, did you want to call it quits ?? --Would you say you guys drifted apart long before the possible cheating?
Divorce has been normalized.

If you are a woman you are supposed to get divorced at 40, and get back on the carousel, except now you are 'free'.

I feel bad for the husband and kids. Much love AA.
do you suspect that menopause played a part in this?


I am very sorry for your situation and I wish you well going forward.......
Hey man,

I'm new here, so I don't know you, but your name is The Anti-Archon, your avatar is Rorscach and you hit the heavy bag, so you gotta be at least OK. You said:

"In the end, she turned 40, didn't quite like what she saw in the mirror and found somebody who could make her feel young again."

That is brutal brother. Brutal truth.

It sounds to me like she let her weaknesses, insecurities and darkness spill over and wreck the life of someone who never allowed himself to do the same. Being a man can be a thankless job. I've never been through the particular hell of divorce so my words may ring hollow, but every tunnel has its light and every storm has its end.

Hitting the bag helped me get through my dark times. Better than hitting doors (me), or people (wanted to but, thankfully, didn't).
Sorry to hear about this AA. What a fucked up situation. And damned right I remember the car accident and your having to care for her. Which makes this coming so soon on the heels of it pretty hard for me to even fathom. Fuck.

Good luck friend. I hope it all works out okay for you.
whoa. I remember when she got into that car accident and you were there for her 100% while she recovered

am I remembering this correctly

sucks what is happening

Like I said before... facebook makes it too easy for people to find previous love interests.
(01-11-2019 07:17 AM)Chaos Reigns Wrote: [ -> ]Divorce has been normalized.

If you are a woman you are supposed to get divorced at 40, and get back on the carousel, except now you are 'free'.

I feel bad for the husband and kids. Much love AA.

Sadly this is true, people have been conditioned to think it's normal to want to find yourself again when you reach 40 after years of being in a solid relationship. This is easily observed with a quick study of the evolution of themes in television shows and movies that teach us 'societal norms' over the past 40 years.


Sorry to hear about your situation AA. Stay strong.
This seriously breaks my heart.You spent decades building a live together and it's thrown away for nothing. You'd want to take her back just to save what you've built -- the years of memories, the home, the children, the way of life... but if you forgive her it just gives her the license to cheat again.

Don't look back and think about how things could have gone differently. Your wife wasn't strong enough to complete the journey of life with you, she fell and you can't help her back up. Forge the path forward. For your sake and the kids sake, stay strong and do what needs to be done; forge the path forward.

Since we're talking about the normalization of divorce, I've just gotta link this video.


I'm sorry to hear this man

Keep you head straight and try to not get sucked in the bickering and hassle. It will only damage your position. The law always gravitates towards the mother in favour over the father when kids are involved

Good luck with this new episode brother and keep your vision straight
Here is my sound advice... I know you will be a pussy and won't listen, but its a must in your situation.

Side note, if you didnt / dont file first she will forever control the narrative with the courts.

Anyway my advice is to just give up everything, including the kids and walk away. They are not your kids anymore, they belong to the state. Just pay whatever support the court orders and go your own way. When the kids are adults, maybe try and form a relationship with them, but id say let the bitch go into full on loser single mother status. That's the life she wanted when she started sucking cock. And guess what... This is not the first time she cheated. Only the first time she was caught. Sorry about the black ? but you need it.
(01-11-2019 05:49 PM)Redneck Wrote: [ -> ]
(01-11-2019 07:17 AM)Chaos Reigns Wrote: [ -> ]Divorce has been normalized.

If you are a woman you are supposed to get divorced at 40, and get back on the carousel, except now you are 'free'.

I feel bad for the husband and kids. Much love AA.

Sadly this is true, people have been conditioned to think it's normal to want to find yourself again when you reach 40 after years of being in a solid relationship. This is easily observed with a quick study of the evolution of themes in television shows and movies that teach us 'societal norms' over the past 40 years.


Sorry to hear about your situation AA. Stay strong.

Well, yeah, they basically tell women "You have one last chance! Excitement! Romance! Seduction! This time you are going to meet that 65 year old sugar daddy, about to die, who will leave you all his money, in return for maybe 5 or 6 blowjobs with the lights off"

But they leave out at what cost it comes. No more long term relationships, ruining your family life, damage done to your kids, much more.

F*** this guy who says leave the kids with this woman.
Sugar and Spice and Everything NICE was FAKE NEWS


women need to be held accountable for their menopause and menstrual manias and it should not be a acceptable excuse for bad behavior.
(01-11-2019 06:47 AM)trevorrice Wrote: [ -> ]i do have one question before you thought she maybe cheating, did you want to call it quits ?? --Would you say you guys drifted apart long before the possible cheating?

I wanted her to be a better wife and mother, and we had several arguments about her lack of involvement in our family. She was the one who pulled away. My dad thinks the car accident did something to her mental state. Facing mortality like that and then turning 40, she went nuts and needed some sort of way to feel young again. Somebody new getting a boner over her apparently fit the bill.

I would have never called it quits. I married for life. And now I got to go find some other bitch? Don't know about that. I picked a 32-year-old up on Tinder a couple months ago and I was surprised by how easy it was. Took me 10 days of texts and one sushi dinner before I was eating her sushi. I decided afterward to dump her which I did the very next day. The idea of listening to someone else yammer on about a whole new list of shit I don't really care about just to put it in her really doesn't appeal. Now, I think I'm done with women.
(01-11-2019 07:17 AM)Chaos Reigns Wrote: [ -> ]Divorce has been normalized.

If you are a woman you are supposed to get divorced at 40, and get back on the carousel, except now you are 'free'.

I feel bad for the husband and kids. Much love AA.

Agree 100%
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