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https://japantoday.com/category/features...nese-wives
Yes, it's true...
Many Japanese wives think it is fine to unilaterally shut down sex after having kids.
Not only sex, but they will also rebuff any attempts at affection such as hugging and kissing.
Try to talk to them about it and you'll be dismissed with comments such as "It's normal" or "We've had kids so we don't need to have sex any more"...
I think this "cold marriage syndrome" initiated by the wife is the number one reason for divorces between Japanese women and foreign guys.
I think it is very selfish and heartless of these women to threaten the stability of the marriage in this way.
Maybe Japanese guys can accept such a situation because it is so common in Japan but for foreign guys it's an awful way for things to end up...
Another one:
Married to a Japanese girl for 12 years, no sex for 6 years. The last time we had sex she got pregnant with son number two. She doesn't view this as dysfunctional. As long as I go to work and give her plenty of money, the marriage is fine. Honestly, western men should be very careful because Japanese women are very good at changing their minds after a child has been born. The man no longer exists, and I mean not even 1%. Japanese women view a husband with kids as an ATM. He is supposed to pay for his family. The traditional Japanese cry of, "It is our culture" is there to defend the indefensible of course. Promises, vows etc. mean nothing. I would be divorced if I could be, but that would involve the complete loss of my two children thanks to the backward legal system and idiotic family courts also based on "culture".
Another one:
After readying many of these posts, a lot of memories came flooding back with my ex fiancé that I new for 6 years before deciding if I should marry her. Pretty much all I read here I saw the potential in her. Not willing to be married until I bought a house is cash, wanting a 20K wedding, saying if I ever lost my job, she would take the kids and go back to Japan, wanting to start a business here in the states while she was still in Japan, asking for my help to manage it here but not wanting to be partners, telling me when we got older we would have separate sleeping areas. Eventually it got to the point where I had to ask myself, what kind of future will I have with a woman I totally adored knowing this could be the outcome. I mean, I thought she was kidding when she would tell me this but over time I came to realize this may be the case. My advice, listen to both what she says when you two are separated in other countries as well as when you are together, and ask her to elaborate on thoughts you find not the norm. This will help to give you an idea of what to expect. I decided not to marry her and married a Filipina instead...
Another one:
Was dating a Japanese girl here for over four years, we were living together and it amazed me how quickly our relationship turned into a scarily close representation of the "typical sexless, affection-less Japanese marriage" after we started living together. In the end our physical needs brought it down... A sad thing but we are still great friends though. After living in a different country she seems more affectionate and sexual now... The next gf will get a hard talk about physical needs before getting serious...
Another one:
I'm one of those western men who have been contemplating whether or not I will divorce my Japanese wife. My reasons are close to those already mentioned here, but the main reason is because my wife simply does not respect me. No matter how much work I do, no matter how much love I give, no matter how much help I provide, none of it is enough for her. It has become very stressful, and I think her selfishness is going to rub off on my daughter. That is my main concern. I don't want any man she may marry to have to deal with what I am going through now. It is why I decided never to marry a westerner. Looks like I really did in the end.
i somewhat agree with this

sex is mainly about having kids.

before you get married you can build a bond with sex, but after marriage you shouldn't be having too much sex.

couple of times a month is healthy
This has got to suck.

Abandon ship!
once you are married and have kids there should be less lust in the relationship.

plus nowadays I think men are more likely to refuse sex than women. Men like to get off on porn.
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Sounds like a good reason to avoid Japanese women for marriage. I have always preferred Filipinas.
the status of japanese women has fallen over the years.

their legs are generally shorter as well compared to Chinese and Korean women

they also don't age very well once past 30
(06-23-2017 07:12 PM)EVILYOSHIDA Wrote: [ -> ]i somewhat agree with this

sex is mainly about having kids.

before you get married you can build a bond with sex, but after marriage you shouldn't be having too much sex.

couple of times a month is healthy

I would say a couple of times a month is a bare minimum.

A couple of times a week is more healthy imo, assuming you do t have a newborn or something.

It really boils down to the couple and their individual sexual appetites though. As long as both feel that their sexual needs are being met, it is more or less healthy.
a lot of sexual desire is triggered by the smut peddling media and advertising. take that all away and I don't think people would be horny all the time.

to me it's sexual harrassment to provoke people sexually without their consent in public advertising.

a lot of it is also based on our freudian sexualized culture where you're expected to get it on all the time or feel like you're missing out on life

sex should be for procreation and bonding between the husband and wife, not to get a release.
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